A letter from the ugly girl in the class

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Please review the attached update on your status for a position you have applied for.

Dear Jordan,

Thank you for your interest in the Splzd Inv Svcs Rep III position. For each opportunity at USAA, several candidates are considered. We regret to inform you that we have made the decision to select another candidate whose qualifications more closely match the needs of the position. 

We encourage you to continue to search current openings, create job search agents, check the status of your other submittals, and update your profile/resume as needed at the USAA Career Center on usaa.com.

Again, thank you for your interest in USAA.

Sincerely,
USAA Staffing

Hope and yet another rejection

Fidelity continues to reject my petitions for employment as an Investment Sales and Service person. There is a silver lining in that Fidelity has multiple entry level positions and I haven't heard back on any location for the other one. If I don't hear back by the end of this week they are basically saying that they are not even interested enough to bother with a rejection letter. I figure I can thin my hair a little this week under that stress.

My current employer contacted me about a position for which I had applied. I have an initial interview today to go over experience and qualifications. It won't be the ridiculous, "Think of a time in which you were rock climbing and had to help a team member with a drug or alcohol addiction" questions. I can't lie during this interview and say that all my metrics are 110%, but I do have enough teaching and management experience to be a contender.

Last night, before I fell asleep, my mind was wandering and I realized that my church callings have way better work experience than most of my jobs do. I have prepared and taught Gospel Principles lessons for almost a decade. I have managed missionaries, filled out expense reports, and filed weekly accounts receivable reports (tithing/fast offerings). After I managed to fall asleep, I had nothing but nightmares.

The interview could have gone better. I had a hard time relating my answers to the position for which I was applying. They asked me questions about dealing with conflict and I should have tried to think of an answer that was more people focused and less sales focused. I should get my rejection soon.

A.N.N.U.N.C.I.A.T.E

Please remove the stupid from your mouth before talking to me.

I cannot understand the garbled language that someone told you was English. It sounds like someone knocked your teeth out and then you never spit them out, you just talk with them rolling around in that cavern of idiocy, you call a mouth. When I gain weight, it all goes to my face. You apparently gain all your weight in your tongue and it takes too much effort to lift that disgusting fount of unintelligible nonsense; Or maybe your tongue has somehow gained consciousness and knows that nothing you have to say is important, so it refuses to work with you to push out the borderline retarded things that you concoct in your quarter-capacity brain. Is it possible that you have survived these 30 years and still jam your whole fist into your mouth as my newborn children were want to do, and that is the reason I can't understand a word you say? Whatever the reason, maybe it would be easier to learn how to spell and write a letter.

Thank you,

-Anyone that has ever tried to communicate with you via telephone

Rejected but not dejected

"I wanted to take a moment to thank you for taking the time to interview with the hiring team this week. The team has decided to interview additional candidates before making final hiring decisions."

I received this message today. 

The message sat in my e-mail for about an hour before I opened it up to find the above message. I received the e-mail and just looked at it for a while. I knew that my answer was in there, so, of course, I was paralyzed by it. 

I feel almost relieved at the pseudo rejection because I didn't really want to live in CO and I doubt I would have accepted the job anyway, but rejection hurts no matter what. Maybe it should hurt more from a company that I would have rejected anyway. The ugly girl in class just said she wouldn't go on a date with me. How unappealing am I? I really thought the interview went well, but apparently not as well as I understood. I can try to console myself by saying that I wasn't interested anyway, but that only takes away some of the sting of rejection.

Role playing with a dude on the telephone

It wasn't quite a kinky as the title would make it seem. I had a telephone interview today with USAA. It is a little awkward to have interviews for jobs while on lunch from the one I currently work.

I am sure anyone that reads this thing is as sick of hearing about my job search as I am of looking for a job, so let's discuss something else.
I watched the entire third season of Walking Dead today (one of the benefits of working from home). I never got into comic books. I had friends that were way into them, but it never clicked for me. My friends would recommend less super hero type comic books and more "graphic novels" which is the basis for The Walking Dead. The paper comic industry has been hit pretty hard recently. The movie studios are doing great with their licenses, but the actual comics have declined in popularity in the last several years, or at least they had until they found a new home on tablets. Tablets offer a new and easy way to store and read comics.

I took the opportunity a few weeks ago to download the first Walking Dead comic (it was available for free) and it was actually pretty good. I enjoy some solid zombie fiction (as opposed to zombie non fiction which is just so boring). It didn't give me the impulse to put any money into comics, but I didn't think I had wasted my time either. Robert Kirkman (creator of The Walking Dead) has said in the past that he doesn't believe in heroes, but rather that he just tells stories about people and tries to make the zombie apocalypse as real as possible. That is to say that there is no Arnold Schwartzanegger of the zombie apocalypse, but just a bunch of people who will probably get killed and have horrible experience in the mean time.

We are going through a very interesting time in popular media when not only are anti-heroes popular, but the most popular shows on TV feature stories in which nothing good happens to any of the main characters. Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, and Game of Thrones are all great examples of this. It seems that for many people, the time has come to stop dreaming of a super hero in their media, but to watch people suffer. Instead of wishing for a hero to help us escape, we now escape our own sufferings by watching someone else suffer much more. The acting is pretty darn good too.

This is getting a little too deep and probably pretentious for my taste, so we will stop until tomorrow, when I can fill this page with more rambling ravings of the psychopath that is me.

Good night.