Wednesday, August 3, 2011

An Interesting Mix of Relief and Fury

This will be a post about work so read it now because when I am struck with better judgement like a lightning bolt the post will be deleted in fear that some piece of published truth might get me in trouble with those who prefer to bury their head in the sand.

I started working from home about a year ago and part of that deal was that I had to work nights for my first year at home. I gladly took the position not knowing the extent of the challenges that I would face. I work in sales and subsequently have a goal that I must meet to make any real money. Without going into too much detail, suffice it is to say that I struggled quite a bit over the last year. I presented ideas and arguments accompanied with spreadsheets to management in attempt to lower goal for myself and my fellow night time workers, but they refused to recognize that work at night was any different than work during the day.

I started an earlier shift this week and have immediately started doing significantly better. Doing well feels good, but on the flip side, it's incredibly upsetting that all of my arguments are immediately validated and still ignored. I am no longer the victim of working nights, but it doesn't make me feel better about the way the company handled or is handling the situation. I know that I should feel relieved that I am no longer suffering (and I am relieved believe me, my wife says that she hasn't seen me this happy in a long time), but doing well actually upsets me because the rift between days and nights is so clear that it's obvious that the management in my company must have seen it and just said about people working nights, "screw 'em."

The worst part of this whole thing is because I was so vocal about the large chasm in between days and nights and did so poorly when working nights, and am now doing so well working days, I will be told that it's just psychological. Now that I believe I will succeed, I will.

Let me tell you a secret Mr. Manager. My psyche was not making 16 year olds with 3 DUIs call in from New Jersey at 1:00am to laugh at me when I give them a $10,000.00/year rate for liability only on their 1990 Chevy Cavalier, but every time you invalidate my legitimate objections it does help me realize how completely out of touch you are and stain every piece of advice you may offer, no matter how helpful.

But what do I know, my thoughts and actions are so easily influenced that I could never develop my own opinions or ideas.
(Sorry for the Mr. Angry McAngerson post today, I promise to be funnier tomorrow, I just need to have someone tell me so.