Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Seriously guys, who took a dump in the toilet?

While the toilet may seem like the most appropriate place to lay rest to fecal matter, it is not when it comes to my house, at least not before I have taken possession of it (the house, not the feces). Apparently someone had to go to the bathroom so bad that they decided to go in what was then a vacant home (with no running water (which means he didn't wash his hands afterwards (I blame bad parenting))). I went through the house the night I got the key and followed an intriguing smell, which eventually brought me to each toilet which was filled will feces. I say it was my realtor (we were looking for a house for over six months so I can't say it wasn't justified). Whoever you are, we loved the housewarming gift and wish you the best in all future endeavors.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Semifinal house news

There is only a small update. Pia and I have done the final walk-through of the house and nothing appeared to be on fire, so we signed a form and will be closing on Tuesday the 13th. Both Pia and I are excited and anxious; it's like having a baby, except hopefully the house won't poop itself.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Photojournalist of the century

I read two news sources online. I read http://www.azcentral.com/ which shares local news with a heavy mix of ridiculousness. They will publish a story about a child abducted in Phoenix next to a story about a group of killer porcupines trolling around the frozen tundra of Russia. I also read http://www.nytimes.com/ which is generally more mature and panders less to idiots who only want their news to contain crazy off the wall stories.
This story is currently on the front page of www.AZcentral.com "Pack of raccoons mauls Florida woman."
But, the New York Times, may have won the contest today (and possibly forever), because when I went to their website, this was the first thing I saw, their lead story: I don't know if it would just be funnier not to explain the picture. This man is in England, protesting the price drop of milk. (here is a link to the article http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/06/business/global/06milk.html?ref=business )

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Chicks dig scars.... in the 90's

I was thinking about the saying, "Chicks dig scars." I was looking over my hands and feet and was noticing that I have quite a few scars, nothing monstrous, but some definitive marks from childhood falls and such. One time, I closed the door to my family's Volkswagen Rabbit so the edge of the door slid along the inside of my arm taking with it a significant section of flesh. For a while it looked like I had tried to slit my wrists, but has since disappeared almost completely.
I haven't heard the term, "Chicks dig scars" in about ten years which sounds about right, because it's absolutely not true anymore. Chicks may have dug scars back in the 90's, but while those scars are still making you a rugged piece of work, chicks aren't digging you like they once did.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

More house news

The repairs will be done later today and we should be closing on the home next week. I am sure everyone is very relieved that all this investment of phone calls and pretending to care is finally going to result in a payday. I have realized through this process that the people helping you through the home-buying process are just as big of scum-bags as used car salesmen and people associated with that process. They may hold themselves in a higher regard, but a flying cockroach is still just a cockroach with wings.