The word is out and the word is pregnant, specifically my wife. Some people congratulated me, some people said they were sorry (for the baby) and others just laughed at me. We have started to brainstorm names at work that will guarantee my children years of being bullied at school and millions in therapy bills after, which will be before or after they become drug addicted strippers with a third grade education. In no particular order, here is the list of the worst names for my children.
1. Louis Lewis
2. Lesbia Anna (I have run into a couple of Spanish women with this name Lesbiana is of course the Spanish word for Lesbian.)
3. Huey Lewis (his brother would be named the news and we would only introduce them together)
4. Jordan Lewis (but only if it's a girl, because naming a girl after her father is a sure fire way to confuse the crap out of her)
5. Dexter (which my wife and I actually like, but only because Dexter is the protagonist serial 
killer in a television show that we follow (yup, name him after a serial killer, there couldn't be anything bad that could come out of that)).
killer in a television show that we follow (yup, name him after a serial killer, there couldn't be anything bad that could come out of that)).6. Maria (my wife will have to explain that one to you)
7. Sue (because Johnny Cash says so)
8. aostiuaijt; (because that was just me slamming my fists on the keyboard and not a real name, and let's admit, that's just mean, but oddly not unlike how some people choose their child's name)
9. Shitonne (I swear to you that I talked to a person with this name yesterday, it's as if their name was also what they will be in life)
10. Concepcion (because that's just disgusting)
On the flip side of the previous paragraph, I really like the name Abraham, but to make it cool, I think we would spell it Abe'rawham. It's like Jon. (no h) you know, because we are cool parents and we have to prove it through punishing our child. He could shorten his name to Abe for work
and when he is with his friends they can call him Rawham because that's just cool. I have always wanted to name my child after uncooked meat. It is Abe'rawham, or Jessicoldcuts (which doesn't really have the same ring to it.)
I was going to do my year in review, but as you can see, this name thing is really taking up a lot of my time, so I will save you from the torture that is my perspective on 2008 in my life, at least until tomorrow.
On the flip side of the previous paragraph, I really like the name Abraham, but to make it cool, I think we would spell it Abe'rawham. It's like Jon. (no h) you know, because we are cool parents and we have to prove it through punishing our child. He could shorten his name to Abe for work
and when he is with his friends they can call him Rawham because that's just cool. I have always wanted to name my child after uncooked meat. It is Abe'rawham, or Jessicoldcuts (which doesn't really have the same ring to it.)I was going to do my year in review, but as you can see, this name thing is really taking up a lot of my time, so I will save you from the torture that is my perspective on 2008 in my life, at least until tomorrow.
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