Hey kids! It's time to learn how to spell!

In the second grade we chose vocabulary words every week to define and learn to spell. At the end of that week we would be tested on the words that we chose. One week we were challenged to pick countries so I spun the globe and my finger found Nigeria, which in my 2nd grade naiveté I pronounced as if it had two "g"s. I don't remember, but I think my teacher must have corrected me.

FIRE SALE: Everything must go!

Baby for sale:
2009 model Abe Lewis in near mint condition with very low mileage that we are trying to get rid of. It has a white body with dark brown trim. Everything working great, but my wife thought we would use it more than we are and now it's just sitting around so we thought we would try to sell it to someone who can get more use out of it. It's in perfect shape with little sign of use. It does leak from time to time, but has been fitted with an easy to interchange receptacle for the fluids. Very low maintenance; it's very quiet and only makes noise when you want it to. It's not mobile right now, but with a little work you could get it running in no time.
Upon request, it can be purchased with all the accessories. We have several different adornments for it and different trailers by which it can be towed anywhere you need to take it.
All regular maintenance has been done. All fluids are changed promptly upon need and it has been updated with all weather resistance fluids as well.
It's a great baby; you will love it! Please call or e-mail for a test run at (911)911-9911 or ifyoubelievemeyouareanidiot@gmail.com

I guess a little explanation is in order. I once put a very similar ad on www.craigslist.com under the baby section. I think I was shopping for a car at the time and the baby section seemed funny because I guess I just imagined it as a marketplace for babies (not really, but it was late and I was probably pretty tired). I put this up and within about 10 seconds it had been reported so many times that craigslist took it down, but I did get an e-mail from a guy from craigslist saying that it was one of the funniest things he had ever seen.
Merry Christmas everyone.

Abe pictures

If you thought I meant Abe my child you were sort of right, but sort of wrong too.

Abe is amazing: he took four shots and didn't even get drunk

Yes, Abe got some shots today. I wasn't there, but from the report I got, he cried for two minutes and then was all done. I am quickly approaching the end of the year which means I will be writing some papers that will try to make it seem as if I learned something in the classes that I took.
Life is pretty boring right now, which is pretty great. The house is still standing, Abe is growing, Pia and I are still married. I guess in today's world that is kind of news (all of it).
I wonder if the world really is worse now than it used to be, or we just become more aware of the evils of the world as we get older, and especially after we have children.
Christmas is quickly approaching and I will be thinking about my Christmas message. Last year it was, "Everyone needs a friend on meth," so I have a lot to live up to.
Sorry this is so discombobulated.