If you sing, I will rip your larynx out

Today is my birthday, but I am not a big birthday person, so while I had the day off, I opted to work because I apparently hate myself. My mom made a delicious cake and bought me an awesome book called "Lincoln, The Biography of a Writer." I am very excited to get through it. (thank you Mom) My brother sent me a text which is pretty out of character because the last time I sent him a text message he made me give him a quarter for the charge, so that's a pretty big deal. A text is nice because it says, "I know it's your birthday because I am a good person and I am not going to make us both feel uncomfortable by calling you and pretending that either one of us give a crap that it's your birthday." I would actually prefer that all my birthday wishes were through text, that way I could hide them and quickly delete them. The 16 year old in me is saying that 25 is so old, but the 25 year old in me still thinks I am a kid. I have a lot to complain about very soon, but I just wanted to check in and say hi........ "hi."
Worst birthday cake ever!