Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Rob Roddy's new career

I know that Rob Roddy is dead and we will all miss him terribly. Is there a voice on TV or radio as distinguished and recognized as that of Rob Roddy? I don't think so. He got to wear things as flamboyantly gay as Richard Simmons or Siegfried and Roy, but was never mocked for it. Look at this picture! I found this picture on CNN.com headlining the article about his death. THAT SUCKS! I hope they find a more dignified picture of me when I die, rather than one that could be captioned with "You'll be next muahahahahaha!"
This post isn't about Rob Roddy, but rather about voices. I do a mean "rain man." I also sound so much like a radio DJ on the phones that at least 2 people will mention it every day. I do it because it makes the phone conversation fun for me, because there is nothing else that I do on the phones at work that is any fun at all, and so I can mask my homicidal anger towards the people that I talk to and the suicidal dread (could also be embarrassment or shame (our prices are really high)) I feel right before I give someone the price for the product they want to purchase with me.
I was on a call yesterday and my new supervisor happened to be listening from his desk. (I suck at selling stuff so I asked him to listen to a call and give me some tips (I didn't know that he was listening to this specific call)) I answered with my usual fake enthusiasm and continued the call that way until I saw an e-mail notification pop up on my screen with the subject that read, "You sound like a radio DJ, slow down!" I toned down my...... tone but it didn't stop my customer from saying, "You know, you really missed your calling, you should have been a radio DJ." (like 2 minutes after I got the e-mail) I had to put my customer on hold so I could control my laughter at the timing. My supervisor came over and laughed at me as well.
After all was said and done, my supervisor said that I should be more real. My dilemma is that if I am "real" I would have to tell these people how stupid they are and how much I hate them. So I overcompensate. I overcompensate to the point of actually parodying what I think a sales person sounds like. I sound like a radio commercial for used cars.
The point is, when you can't make it, fake it (sounds like a motto for unhappy housewives or bad porn actresses), and when you are told to stop faking it, uh........... I don't know. I don't know how to be real at work, because if I were real, I would really not want to be here. Pretending that I am happy is what gets me through the day. it's what gets me through a lot of things, and I don't plan on stopping because I overcompensate to the point of sounding ridiculous. I guess I am just not a good actor, but the ridiculousness of it entertains me and helps me survive the endless black hole of misery that is a day at work.

1 comment:

Baking With Plath said...

My boyfriend does the exact same thing and it cracks me up. He sounds ridiculous.