Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Bum wisdom

I have talked a lot about my walk to school which is getting much easier because the weather is getting a little nicer. (It's now shorts weather as opposed to "I want to sleep naked in my freezer" weather) The area around ASU is littered with bums (it's no San Francisco, but let's be honest, that's like comparing a flu to the plague.)
First of all let me explain something: There is a difference in between "the homeless" and a "bum." The homeless are that way because they have fallen on hard times and they have lost their home for a short period of time. They live with family or friends for a little while to get back on their feet. Homeless people are just that, homeless. They are upstanding people who just couldn't seem to make ends meet and consequently, lose their home. "Bums," on the other hand are homeless by choice. They are drug-addicting, toothless beggars lying in a pool of their own fecis with fecal matter sprinkled over all of their belongings, whose life is complete when they find a drop left in the hotel 3oz servings or alcohol in a trash can next to soiled pornographic magazine and a shopping cart wheel. These guys are not temporarily homeless.... They are professionals. They take advantage of every charity and charitable person. They ask for change, but when it's anything less than a quarter they yell at you. They say, "God bless you" when you have finally given them enough money to buy that vile of crack they have had their good eye on. (Okay, so living in San Francisco has made me a little jaded)
(Sorry about the ranting) Back to the point at hand. Bums normally just ask for money, but when they decide to actually talk to you, that's when things get interesting. When a bum asks me for money I think, "Dude, I am poorer than you. Not only do I have no money, but I am in debt to the beast that is school. I should be asking you for spare change," and then I quietly mutter, "Sorry buddy," and walk on.
A couple of days ago I was walking next to a bum (correction: I was walking, he was hobbling on one leg and dragging the other like a gimp zombie) and he said, "I went to sleep when i was 21 and I woke up 52. I am scared that if I fall asleep again I will wake up and be 104." My immediate reaction was, "Holy crap, did this guy just do math!? (104 being twice as much as 52). I then thought about what he said and it has stuck with me a little. What am I doing to make today memorable? Am I coasting half-conscious through my life? I often think I have a terrible memory, but is that only because I am not doing or experiencing anything memorable? I don't mean to sound like some introspective, philosophical hippie, so for that I am sorry.
I wouldn't say that his comment is going to make me change my life, but it certainly made me think. It also gave me a really good idea. I am going to carry a bunch of ones in my pocket when I walk to school and when a bum asks me a question, I am going to ask them a random question like, "What advice would you give to the next president?" If they get the answer right I will give them the dollar.......ok so I will give them the dollar no matter what sort of senseless answer they give, but look for more crazy bum quotes in future posts. I don't know if I should make some profound statement about how we should look for inspiration in all things or that genius can be found in us all, but I guess even the worst of us have our day..... so that being said.... keep reading this blog.

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