A.N.N.U.N.C.I.A.T.E

Please remove the stupid from your mouth before talking to me.

I cannot understand the garbled language that someone told you was English. It sounds like someone knocked your teeth out and then you never spit them out, you just talk with them rolling around in that cavern of idiocy, you call a mouth. When I gain weight, it all goes to my face. You apparently gain all your weight in your tongue and it takes too much effort to lift that disgusting fount of unintelligible nonsense; Or maybe your tongue has somehow gained consciousness and knows that nothing you have to say is important, so it refuses to work with you to push out the borderline retarded things that you concoct in your quarter-capacity brain. Is it possible that you have survived these 30 years and still jam your whole fist into your mouth as my newborn children were want to do, and that is the reason I can't understand a word you say? Whatever the reason, maybe it would be easier to learn how to spell and write a letter.

Thank you,

-Anyone that has ever tried to communicate with you via telephone